****8 1/2 stars****
Dedication: "For Jazz Daddy & Princess Brown Eyes"
About two weeks ago, the Radcliffes (who are just about the cutest couple God ever put together) walked through Books-a-Million and caught me holding this book with a dreamy, faraway look in my eyes. We laughed about how bookstores are my personal crackhouses, and I showed them the two I really wanted to buy: I'm Down by Mishna Wolff and The Cracker Queen by NPR commentator Lauretta Hannon.
They perused both book jackets and agreed that these selections seemed especially promising...but being public school teachers themselves, they understood why sometimes things can only be cradled and admired and thoughtfully considered instead of actually *purchased*.
So imagine my delight when the Abilene Public Library had a copy of The Cracker Queen! How cool is that? (FREE is Very Cool.)
It's great. You'll love it. And while my family was a little too law-abiding and wholesome for true Cracker Status, we were poor and we were Southern so I could relate to the Cracker Queens in almost every chapter. (The introduction is subtitled "Everything You Need to Know I Learned Inside a Singlewide," so I started this book already smiling...)
There's a great interview with Ms. Hannon HERE. And while you wait for the mp3 file to download, here are are just a few of The Cracker Queen's memorable quotes:
"Nonsmokers, Yankees, professors, and even men can be Cracker Queens. Your age, race, and country of origin are irrelevant. But your willingness to whup some a$$ is nonnegotiable."
(Ms. Hannon does not use dollar signs in the word a$$, by the way, because she is a true Cracker Queen, and I'm only a Cracker Queen Lite. She truly would whup your a$$, while I would just fervently wish that you would meet with your well-deserved comeuppance.)
Of her job at Atlanta Technical College, in one of the poorest parts of the city:
"The truth is that the bad days at work are the best, too, because they remind me of the urgency of our mision. It goes far deeper than education: We are soul warrors...During the graduation ceremony, there is a constant buzz and hum in the air that isn't coming from the PA system. It is the sound of the Universe expressing its supreme contentment. Thank you, Jesus. You showed up and you showed out again."
On gratitude, one of the "linchpins of the Cracker Queen world":
"Gratitude is the cherry on top of the ice-cream sundae or the big bow on top of your dream car. It brings an extra sweetness to everything...Being grateful can change a situation from one that would set you back to one that will catapult you forward."
Posted on her Mama's fridge:
"If it has tires or testicles, it's gonna' give you trouble."
On allowing yourself to become a victim:
"All Cracker Queens are biters. Meaning that if you victimize us, we don't stay victims for long. Try and perpetrate on us a second time, and the men in fedoras might be drawing a chalk line around your sorry lifeless body." (May Bee is a Cracker Queen; I'm only a lady-in-waiting.)
You will love Ms. Hannon's thoughts on Solitude and Play, and I laughed out loud in the Acknowledgments when she thanked a certain "Kathy Tidmore," a member of a group called the "High Order of Whup-A$$ Waitresses." (I can't wait until Monday to ask our school secretary, also named "Kathy Tidmore," if she once waited tables in the Southeast. Wouldn't it be funny if our demure Kathy Tidmore was once the sort of waitress who could deliver a well-deserved a$$-whuppin'? Karen says I should make Kathy a sign for her desk, informing Madison visitors that Ms. Tidmore belongs to the "High Order of Whup-A$$ Secretaries.")
Enjoy the book...and be sure to visit The Cracker Queen web site!
